Tuesday 24 November 2009

Jimmy knocks Boredan out in the first round!

Get in there Jimmy my son! Jim has only another 10 rounds to go until he can finally achieve his dream of being runner up in the Australian Open. With another contestant already having dropped out due to the strain of long periods of boredom without food Jimmy must be thanking his lucky stars, safe in the knowledge that he has successfully endured a safety exchange with Peter Ebdon AND Steve Davis in the past, and nothing is more of an endurance than that. Except perhaps having to listen to Virgo commentating on a safety exchange between Snebdon and the Nugget.

I'm very much looking forward to Jimmy's first challenge. I've heard that it may involve watching Michaela bend over a snooker table to replace the yellow (from the wrong side) for ten minutes without making any laddish comments. Or possibly being asked to pot a simple black when 17 all with Stephen Hendry and 40 points in front.

Surely impossible for the young challenger?

Friday 20 November 2009

The Australian Open: Jimmy vs Boredan

Well well Jimmy Watchers.

Many of you will know that I spend my days waiting to see young James locked in battle in a fierce competition of wills with his fellow contestants. I hope that one day he will return to our screens on prime time TV, fighting for second place as only he can. What would be best would be if Jimmy could find a way to perform at his best in front of an audience of 8 million like the good old days, maybe with some proper prime time presenters like Ant and Dec to introduce him properly, rather than that guy Ravi who has started doing the intros in the Masters.

Imagine my surprise when this incredible vision came true this week! Jimbo would appear to be taking part in a rather unusual new snooker competition which I will call the Australian Open. As with any snooker competition the people he is competing against are largely unknowns with bad skin and a whiff of desperation.

I must say he is doing a fine job thus far of staying under the radar, keeping his secret plan of finishing as runner-up a well kept secret whilst allowing Boredan (the celebrity version of Bendreary) to take the early glory.

So far my highlight is Jimmy walking up a small hill and nearly collapsing. Other than that, Jimbo has largely kept himself to himself.

As far as I'm concerned there are two ways which this might go. Jimmy is either the lovable rogue a la Phil Tufnell, or a total drong like Rodney Marsh.

I am hoping that soon Jimmy will carry out a task that requires some serious physical exercise, like maybe leaning over the table for a tough yellow with the rest, taking a shot that involves difficult stance, or having to reach for the extension without Michaela helping. Hopefully he won't do anything too embarrassing like hitting the blue off the break or starbursting the reds though.

Come on Jimmy!

Banana Me Up - totally unnecessary banana shots