Oh dear.

Much badness at the World Championship in the week. Apologies that updates have not been forthcoming, largely due to my utter dispair at proceedings and having to revert to analogue TV halfway through the week. No red button? It's like the 1950s.

Here is my summation:

The bad

• Liang WenProperBo defeated by Ding the Drone.
• O Sullivan out playing really poorly.
• Hendreary looking like he might do well.
• Nigel Bond the accountant of snooker grinds down Snebdon to a thin paste in the most snoozetastic match ever.
• Steve Davis out, and unable to set a new record for the longest match of all time (or thinking about a shot for longer than anyone ever) and hence reducing some debutante to tears.
• The longest frame ever between two dullards of snooker (didn't see it thank god)
  
• Where is Hazel? I am not sure about this Rishi fellow, he doesn't look like he could hold a conversation about Parrott's big tip for long. Come back Hazel, I miss you!
  

The good

• 'Let's get the boys on the baize!' - I am a big fan of this crazy haired gonk doing the intros, he has got some great nicknames. The Thunder from Down Under - brilliant.
• Neil Robertson still in with a shout. I like an Australian who plays snooker (more on this another time - it is like being an Eskimo who is into tanning).
• Totally open draw - could be won by a complete random. Please don't let John Higgins win.
  
• People boo-ing Shaun Murphy. Something to do with his personal circumstances. Whatever, nice to see a bit of theatre. He did what the Ronaldong does and responded to it by playing about ten times better.
  
• Commentators still talking utter nonsense. One blatant comment about Stephen Lee having a good touch in the balls for a big lad has already been reported. Nice work fellas.
  

All in all, not a good start. Let's hope it picks up in the second week.

The big draw

The first round of the World Championship has been drawn, and there are some jolly interesting matches. Here are my top five:

• 1. Ding Junhui (Chn, 11) v Liang WenProperBo (Chn, 40)
• 2. Ronnie O'Sullivan (Eng, 1) v Stuart Bingham (Eng, 21)
• 3. Stephen Maguire (Sco, 2) v Jamie Burnett (Sco, 45) - there was some sort of match-fixing scandal involving a game between these two. I'll be having a flutter (once I'm off the phone to them both).
• 4. Neil Robertson (Aus, 10) v Steve Davis (Eng, 29) - This should be a cracker, I wonder if Steve can make Neil Robertson go totally mental by playing every other shot as a safety.
• 5. Stephen Hendreary (Sco, 6) v Mark Williams (Wal, 22) - Hopefully one will get knocked out and the other will retire injured.

And the ones I probably won't be watching:

• 14 = Peter Snebdon (Eng, 9) v Nigel Bond (Eng, 23) - Bore factor: 10/10. Bond is the accountant of snooker.
• 14 = The Dott (Sco, 13) v Barry Hawkins (Eng, 27) - Massive snorefest. The Dott is amongst the dullest.

With any luck Hendreary will get knocked out in the first round by Mark Williams, who will get knocked out in the second. Mark did have quite a reputation as an exciting player due to his love of a long pot or two, but I can't say I've been thrilled by any of his recent matches. Proper Bo will hopefully knock out Ding. In fact hopefully Proper Bo and Ronnie O Sullivan will be in the final together. Let's hope he doesn't end up crying like Ding did that time, that was all a little bit embarrassing.

As ever I will be rooting for Steve Davis without really knowing why. He is a very charming man indeed and I take an almost perverse pleasure in watching him grind out a beauty against some poor young player who only wants a decent game at the Crucible. Without doubt one of Steve's matches will finish at around 2:30am. Thank god Dave Harold failed to make it, the idea of the two of them playing in the same match would be too much. I'm not sure Steve will make it past Neil Robertson though, he is a mighty good player (especially for an Australian). Neil also has the best website of any snooker player, I've just noticed.

The draw is wide open based on these matches though. With many of the big names underperforming, this could be a World Championship with a pretty random winner, especially if O Sullivan doesn't turn up.

Is Ding actually a robot?

There is a new guy who is very good at snooker and is also from China called Liang Wenbo. He is like a Chinese Ronnie O Sullivan and plays some very interesting shots indeed, some of which are quite reckless and make Virgo twitch in his seat as are not the 'optimum' shot to play. He also got up to some amusing 'controversial' behaviour (i.e. not very controversial at all) last time I watched him play where he failed to mention to the ref that he had put the white back in a slightly more advantageous position.

This is not what we have come to expect after 3 years of Ding and his expressionless bore-snooker. He is worse than even Hendreary in my opinion when it comes to the bore factor. I have a theory that Ding is actually a robot sent by the Chinese government that has been sent to spy on our pitiful 'World' Championship, and although he is an acceptable standard, was merely an automated drone making way for the real talent to get stuck in.



Hopefully Liang Wenbo will be back for this year's World Championship so that he can do something similarly controversial, like perhaps chalking his cue in an anti-clockwise direction or drinking Ribena instead of water. Proper bo