Steve Davis on Twitter

Say what you like about Twitter, for some people it is the perfect medium. Steve Davis is one of them. The 160 character medium plays to his strengths in witty quips and denies him the space to sound interested about someone having re-tipped their cue. He also liberally rips it out of snooker players, which is of course what they are there for. He has even discussed various pieces of snooker slang - right up my street!

Check out some of his recent efforts:

"Jimmy can win this tonight! He ate better looking things than mark in the jungle!"

"Can't wait fir the Murphy Hendry match! What will stephens walk on music be? The smiths - heaven knows ....?"

"Why is it they never seem to put Marco Fu and Mark King in the same half of the draw? What are they frightened of?"

"Is Snooker a sport? Who cares! But it'll be on TV all next week! :) Why? Because we have under table heating. Other sports take note."

John higgins "can you turn that spot light off?" Dave coleshill (lighting director) "why? Don't you want to be on the tele"?

More on http://twitter.com/SteveSnooker

Wrigglers

I have noticed some excellent additional slang creeping in this year. There are some special terms commonly used amongst my immediate cue sport circle when a ball does that wriggly thing where it hits both edges of the pocket and then goes in.

My favourites are:

• It wriggled
• It wiggled
• It wiped its feet
• It went in off the post
• It thought about it

You get the idea. This year these have been joined by the excellent 'It knocked three times' coined by John Virgo during the Shaun Murphy vs John Higgins match. Great work Virgo, I am one step closer to forgiving your life-long affiliation with that tit Jim Davidson.

UPDATE: One additional wriggler comment from the Grand Master - "It entered through the side door". Great work.

Australians and snooker

I am very pleased to see 'The Thunder from Down Under'* Neil Robertson doing well in the World Championship. So far he is doing a very good impression of Alex Higgins / Jimmy White, by falling short positionally very regularly and having to tonk it around the table to make up for it. My kind of player. He is also playing Shaun Murphy who is a frankly odious individual.

But why on earth would you play snooker if you were Australian? It's bad enough in the Spring and Summer in the UK - staying in a dark room when the sun is shining seems so wrong. Australia is just not a country suited to the baize. Also, about three quarters of the tournaments are in the UK. Neil Robertson seems to be holding it together but Quinten Hann drove himself mad from the jetlag, eventually giving in and just starbursting the reds. That was proper fun, and (as described elsewhere in this blog) can be a psychological tactic unlike any other in the amateur game, snooker clearly drove him mental.

On another note, Dennis Taylor shamed himself on last night's commentary with a terrible Australia pun. The Thunder (tm) had the white on the cushion and needed to dig one it out with some backspin. Dennis mentioned that he was probably good at digging seeing as he'd come all the way from Australia.

Only a lifetime ban from the BBC can set the proper example to other commentators to ensure this doesn't happen again.

*Best new snooker nickname this year.

Oh dear.

Much badness at the World Championship in the week. Apologies that updates have not been forthcoming, largely due to my utter dispair at proceedings and having to revert to analogue TV halfway through the week. No red button? It's like the 1950s.

Here is my summation:

The bad

• Liang WenProperBo defeated by Ding the Drone.
• O Sullivan out playing really poorly.
• Hendreary looking like he might do well.
• Nigel Bond the accountant of snooker grinds down Snebdon to a thin paste in the most snoozetastic match ever.
• Steve Davis out, and unable to set a new record for the longest match of all time (or thinking about a shot for longer than anyone ever) and hence reducing some debutante to tears.
• The longest frame ever between two dullards of snooker (didn't see it thank god)
  
• Where is Hazel? I am not sure about this Rishi fellow, he doesn't look like he could hold a conversation about Parrott's big tip for long. Come back Hazel, I miss you!
  

The good

• 'Let's get the boys on the baize!' - I am a big fan of this crazy haired gonk doing the intros, he has got some great nicknames. The Thunder from Down Under - brilliant.
• Neil Robertson still in with a shout. I like an Australian who plays snooker (more on this another time - it is like being an Eskimo who is into tanning).
• Totally open draw - could be won by a complete random. Please don't let John Higgins win.
  
• People boo-ing Shaun Murphy. Something to do with his personal circumstances. Whatever, nice to see a bit of theatre. He did what the Ronaldong does and responded to it by playing about ten times better.
  
• Commentators still talking utter nonsense. One blatant comment about Stephen Lee having a good touch in the balls for a big lad has already been reported. Nice work fellas.
  

All in all, not a good start. Let's hope it picks up in the second week.