Parrott alert

The BBC's beloved Parrott is not in the World Championships. This is good news as far as I'm concerned. I cannot bear his excruciating 'comedy' comments when playing, and he is much better sitting on the couch next to Hazel or Ray. Although it was a long time ago and he only committed the offence once, he is responsible for being a Jimmy defeater (tm) so I have never warmed to him.

Clive Everton talks to the BBC from his bedside after injuring his hip falling out of the shower

A vivid memory of this fine piece of sports punditry has just popped into my head. I think this was probably the same year as Ray and the fire alarm (see below for more details of this shameful scenario).

Clive had slipped in the shower the night before and hurt his knee or his elbow or something and was interviewed by the BBC team on the day of the final. Sadly the interview was by phone, although I had this image of Clive dribbling out responses with tubes in his nose and a heart rate monitor next to him.

God it was compelling. I had a tear in my eye. 'If he starts to look like winning, he might just win' murmured Clive through a haze of painkillers. The kind of searing analysis we have come to expect from the great man.

Jimmy's short-lived TV career

With any luck Jimmy will be playing in the World Championship in April and may even provide us with a glorious run to the second round, provided that the person he plays first is very, very easy to beat.

The last time I can remember the great James White on our screens was a brief outing in 2007, this time presenting from next to the table with his new best mate Ray Stubbs. Sadly for the players Jimmy got a much bigger cheer than either of them (especially John Piggins) and presented with the insight and decorum we've come to expect, sweating out a beauty and stumbling over some of the easiest questions you've ever heard about snooker. One can only begin to imagine what heights he could reach as a TV pundit.

The agony of anchoring the snooker

I love the fact that Hazel Irvine does the snooker. She must have been gutted when they told her she'd have to put the miles in at the Crucible before they let her have the World Cup or the Masters Golf (or indeed anything except the snooker). Now she has to keep talking about how John Parrott uses a bigger tip (cue sniggering at 'John's big tip' and the 'excellent control he gets with it' compared with 'someone who is used to a smaller end' - I could go on). Ray Stubbs did it once, but he let us down badly. There was a break in play because of a fire alarm, and Ray had to fill half an hour talking snooker drivel (1985 and all that, Cliff Thorburn's 147, Rocket Ronnie's temperament). He looked like he was going to sh*t himself. Hazel would never let us down like that.